Underletters #18 – Excerpts from the Journal of Alexei Katorga

*HEAVY trigger warnings. Graphic content, sexual and adult themes. Rape. Child abuse. Pedophilia. Gore. Violence.*

August 23, 1993

Little Ivanushka suprised me this week, though he still hadn’t recovered from last weeks games.

His shoulders and legs are taking so long to heal, I don’t know what’s wrong with children these days. The Dogs back in Katorga would rip shreds off me but it didn’t stop the guards taking me for themselves if I slipped. ‘A step to the left or right is considered an attempt to escape’ they always said.

I don’t understand him. He has the best medical care money can buy, but still he is weak. It must be in his blood.

This week’s gathering started out as mundanely as usual. There were a few more parasites than normal, mostly inferiors that Marcus brought along. One or two tried approaching me but I let Dimitri run them off while I kept my eye on Bellamantis. He’s still trying to pass that deal in Florence and I think he knows that it’s me that keeps holding it up. That deal would cost me a fortune if it were allowed to go ahead and, personal feelings for Marcus aside, it’s not in my interests to see him succeed in this. For now he can watch me with that idiot grin on his face and wonder.

The parade of playthings caught my attention this week and I watched little Ivanushka walk out hand in hand with his dear Alyonushka. Jerald gave the usual spiel to the rabble, but he saw my interest when I pointed to the pair. The look on Alya’s face was completely blank when she realized that I would be taking them both for the night, but I know she fears me. Her face may have shown nothing, but her little knuckles went white around Ivanushka’s hand. As for the boy, he just stared at me with his mother’s eyes as I bid them come to me.

Jerald approached to “request that his son” be left out of my excessive pleasures while he healed. Apparently he has some big plans for the boy coming up. I do not like the way he presumes to dictate Ivan’s fate, but I let him believe that I’d agreed before retiring for the night with the two of them. There’s only so much of large parties I can take.

To assuage the pompous Mr Black, I had Dimitri hog-tie Ivan’s wrists and ankles, hanging him off a hook from the ceiling so he could watch while I took my time with his little Alyonushka below. There is something truly amazing about those two. Although I do not approve of the boy’s attachment to the Bellamantis child-whore, the effect they have on each other does add a certain flavour to the games I play with them. The look in her eyes while I had her, with all those little drops of his blood falling onto her face from above when the boy’s stitches split open, just spurred me on. I started to choke Alya as I always do, the way she spasms as she passes out is truly indescribable.

Then something new happened.

As her little face went purple and her body grew limp underneath me, a rope dropped around my neck and started weakly trying to strangle me. I looked up and couldn’t help but laugh when I saw those bright tear-filled blue eyes glaring at me as Ivanushka hung dangling from his ankles. I’ve no idea how he managed to slip his wrists off the hook, especially in utter silence. Of course the impromptu circus act had ripped all his stitches out and the blood was running in little rivers down his arms, yet I couldn’t help but be impressed with the boy all the same, even as he hung there bleeding all over my back.

I still had to punish him for his disobedience, as he no doubt knew I would, but out of respect for his efforts I let him have a glass of vodka before I started. He spluttered and coughed it down as best he could while hanging there by his ankles. The rest of the bottle I poured on his open wounds to help clean them…then I gave him a few new ones to remind him of his place. All the while the little Devil spun in circles, crying those tears he always did and staring down at his dear little Alyonushka. I took extra long with her while he watched, so he would remember the cost of betraying a Katorga.

To say that Jerald was unhappy with his ‘heir’s’ condition is putting it mildly, I knew he would get upset about me breaking my word. That man, he may look like a harmless banker but seeing him angry and watching his calm demeanour fall away like a mask is always entertaining. He threatened me of course, and no doubt I’ll hear of this again, but for now I’m wondering why I didn’t tell him about his sons little attempt to kill me. He would have punished the boy just as I had done, and deservedly so. But getting off that hook without screaming as Ivanushka had done had taken some strength of character that I have not seen in him before. I felt it deserved some kind of reward. I don’t know, maybe he just caught me in a good mood.

I can’t help but wonder if the boy will carry that fire with him as he grows. It would be impressive to see what he could grow into, if he were free of Jerald and Marcus’ influences. I will have to keep a closer eye on him from now on, I think, even if it is just to watch him and be sure that my hand helps to shape the man he will become.

Perhaps there is more in his blood than I give him credit for.

We shall see.

All characters and story lines remain the property of N.Ristovski and the Underground. All character writings within the Underground are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2015. Natalie Ristovski.

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