Underletters #17 – Notes from a Professor (Part One) Patient #626 – Claudia Lyra Monère

**HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY**


Psychological Evaluation and Therapy Transcript Notes: Date unspecified. Year unknown.

Patient # 626 – Claudia Lyra Monère


Therapist: Professor Friedrich Eugene Kreutz


*recording begins*


Session #212


Claudia specifically asked to see me tonight, this is unusual behaviour for her as she knows her sessions are in the mornings.


Professor: Now, now Claudia. Stop your crying and tell me why you’re here tonight.


Lyra: *sob* It’s…it’s the new girl, Sophie, they brought in.


Professor: I know Sophie. Is this to do with her operation?


Lyra: *sniff* Yes


Professor: Now you know that was for her own good, don’t you Claudia? Sophie is much too young to be expected to carry a child to term. Removing it was the best option for her. Now here, have a tissue, you know I don’t like it when you sniffle like that. It’s unsanitary.


Lyra: I know, I’m sorry. But…but Sophie isn’t there any more, Professor. They took her out with the red thing. She just sits there now, screaming…but not so you could hear it. But I can. I hear it in my head whenever I see her. It’s so loud! Professor, I don’t know how the other children sleep, she’s just SO loud. But she’s not there now. That screaming thing isn’t her. The adults keep calling her Sophie and giving her her doll when she drops it…but it’s…it’s not her…


Professor: Interesting. So what do you think should be done then, Claudia?


Lyra: I don’t know Professor! Jackal thinks I should help her sleep…then…then the screaming will stop, but…but..?


Professor: Yes, Claudia. Is there something you want to ask?


Lyra: Well…if I can…can I have the red thing back? If we put it back then Sophie could come back. I think she left herself inside it…but if I give it back to her then I won’t have to help her sleep. Then Jackal will stop whispering and staring at me…and Sophie will stop screaming…


Professor: So you want me to give you the part of Sophie that was removed, do you?


Lyra: Yes please


Professor: Claudia, you know we can’t cut her open and put it back, that would make her very sick.


Lyra: Well…maybe…if it’s all right…I could replace her dolly with it? Then she will still have it and she won’t have to get sick. Then maybe she will speak so the others can hear her…and she won’t make that noise any more…and it will stop echoing in my head whenever I see her.


Professor: Now, Claudia…


Lyra: Please Professor! I don’t want to help her sleep. The others always stare at me when I help them…they forget to close their eyes. They do it so quietly, just staring at where I was…and where I am…where I’ll always be…


Professor: What do you mean where you will always be Claudia?


Lyra: They stop Professor, that’s why you have to smile. They stop and they see you, but then they go on seeing you forever…because they’ve stopped. So…so you tell them a story and you smile and you let them sleep so when they stop they’re seeing a smile and they sleep to a nice story.


Professor: I see. Well Claudia, that is very interesting. Thank you. I will think about what you have asked for.


Lyra: Really, Professor?


Professor: Of course my dear. Now it’s getting late, why don’t you just stay here this evening? I’ll send word to your father. I’m going to work for a bit longer, then I’ll come and tuck you in.


Lyra: Oh…uhh yes Professor, of course.


Session ended.


~Further notes~


Claudia continues to fascinate me. Her father is pushing harder for me to successfully create a true dissociative personality like I have done for Jerald Black and Marcus Bellamantis’ progeny, but Claudia’s mind has followed a path I never could have anticipated.


Jasper and Asinoe have both successfully created alternate personalities to help them shoulder the trauma that would otherwise shatter them. Instead of retreating from their situation they seem to have made a game of it, if you will, often competing with each other through pain, with sexual assault as the price of loss for their antics. Through the two of them I have begun to see my theories on the plasticity of children’s minds being proven, with amazing results. There seems to be no limit to what some of these children can acclimatize to.


Surprisingly the success rates seem to be correlating with some of Gregor Mendel’s theories of evolution. Perhaps just another of those odd parallels that pop up in nature, but I am beginning to think that more long-term research is required. Would that I could continue my studies on them indefinitely.


Jasper and Asinoe (or Baelian and Alina, as they have taken to calling each other and themselves) have by far been my most successful achievements…some of the other children have come close, but there does not yet appear to be a definitive path of treatment. As I suspected, each case must be handled individually as unique. In some instances I’m beginning to wonder if there is any truth in Armand Monère’s insistence that some children just “come from the right families”.


But I digress.


Claudia, instead of following Jasper and Asinoe’s lead, has done something quite unexpected. Where the others allowed their minds to fracture into altered personalities, Claudia seems to have maintained her original identity, but has personified the aspects of herself that she struggles to internalize.

“Jackal,” as she calls it, is one of these aspects…this one seems to somehow house both her protective and homicidal impulses. As a result of my earlier attempts at splitting her core personality by using her to “mercifully” kill one of the other children, Claudia has taken on the aspect, merging all manifestation of her homicidal tendencies to only behaviours that can be justified as protective or caring in manner. I am still trying to find a situation where I can allow her to kill out of rage or frustration, but so far I have been unsuccessful.


Claudia’s thoughts about her victims “stopping” displays very rare and abstract processing for a child her age, where normally an understanding of death is achieved without subsequent knowledge of it as universal. She seems to see the act of dying as a frozen point in time from a personal perspective, and while this is a hard point to argue without getting into theology or philosophy, what has surprised me is the level of empathy shown within Claudia that is well outside the norm for this age bracket. This is also displayed through her understanding of the pain of Sophie, who has gone completely catatonic since the removal of her stillborn child and continues to remain unresponsive to external stimuli. Claudia seems to see past this, however, leading me to believe that further study is required.


I think I will allow Claudia to return the stillborn child to Sophie, I am curious to see how it will develop. Will Claudia defend herself if Sophie attacks, and will she understand why? The empathy that she showed today leads me to believe that she should…but the tangent of her understanding also has me doubting this result.


I will follow up with more of this in the morning.


*recording ends*


Written by Adam Grant (edited by Luna Madness and Natalie Ristovski).


Summary/synopsis of LARP experience The Underground. All characters and story lines remain the property of N.Ristovski and the Underground. All character writings within the Underground are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.**

Copyright © 2015. Natalie Ristovski.

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